What Does One Blog About When One Decides That One Must Blog?

Well.

This has been a trying experience. I should say that first.

So I've been thinking about what I'd like to blog about since around Christmas Eve. Wait, that's not really one hundred percent absolutely completely true. I mean, I've been thinking about writing a blog for years. I just never have the patience to, you know, carry through with things that I decide to do. I'm not a real "follow-up" type of person. I have goals and good ideas and then...well, *poof* - they go away and recess themselves somewhere deep in the wrinkles of my brain, to be remembered while I lie in bed at night, chattering to myself (in my head) that I should really write these things down. My life is so confusing sometimes. And hard. Very hard.

Where was I? Blogging. So I've been thinking about what I want to write about in my blog. I even polled people on Facebook! See, smart! Using social networking sites for actual networking purposes. Who knew they weren't just for Farmville and Mafia Wars and whatever other ridiculous, embarrassing childish bullshit adults can come up with to pass their time. I got some responses that were actually insightful, too. Mainly from Kendal and Tricia. Ashley said I should buy Julia Child's cookbook and pull a Julie Powell. While I really enjoyed Julie & Julia, I don't think anyone wants to read about my cooking exploits. Though, to be honest, I was going to do a cooking blog and then thought better of it. How many of those do we need, really? Allison said she blogs about weight loss and while I can see the benefit of that, I really have no thoughts on weight loss tips or goals myself. I mean, I'd like to lose a few pounds but, again, that whole ambition thing comes into play. I'd rather sit in my basement and smoke a cigarette while looking at our treadmill than actually get off my ass and attempt to run on it. Besides, where else would I hang the laundry when I take it out of the dryer? So, no weight loss tips here. I say eat a lot of butter and see what happens.

So Tricia and Kendal, this blog's for you! Yes! You've inspired me! I decided my blog would be a mix of my sardonic, biting wit as I look at the world around me (when I actually leave my house) and my take on the various things that just chap my ass. (Sidebar: my best friend told me this past weekend that she hates it when people say the phrase "chap my ass." Chap my ass, chap my ass, chap my ass. Assless chaps. That's for you, Vegas!) I know; there are blogs out there that already do what I want to do and probably do it much better than I will. But I really need to feel like I'm using my English degree and I don't have the patience to write a novel nor do I have the ambition (there we go again) so, this is what I've come to. Slumming it in the blogs.

It's a good thing I'm not snobby.