When you're young and unemployed in a new town, what do you do? Sulk at home with your cats? No! You do this! And by "this," I mean you start a blog!

2.08.2010

Sarah Palin Is (And Always Will Be) A Big, Fat, Stinking Idiot


Oh Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. I've said it before and I'll say it again (and probably again and again and again and again and...ad nauseam) but every time I think you can't say anything that is more stupid than the last thing you said, you prove me wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Unbelievable. You are unbelievable. There just are no words. They should have sent a poet? No. Even a poet couldn't find the words to describe how stupid and unbelievable and absolutely horrible you are.

This past weekend Sarah Palin was the keynote speaker at the Tea Party Convention down there in Nashville. Incidentally, how the hell does a group who isn't even an actual party have a convention? They're not a real party. Will they become one? Well, we Democrats can only hope, because the more division and idiocy that we see come out of a fractured Republican Party, the better for us, right? Well, maybe. Democrats suck at getting behind an idea, too, so really, who knows? But that's a tale for another time. Sarah's speech on Saturday was a blundering mash-up of good ol' right wing lunacy, warmongering, crib notes and a basic lack of understanding of how the world works. In short, she made an idiot out of herself AGAIN and AGAIN proved why people who only have three wrinkles on their brain shouldn't be allowed to speak for anyone. She is a moron. It can't be said enough. A MORON.

She made fun of Barack Obama for using a teleprompter. Well, she had notes written on the palm of her hand. By the way, Sarah, Ronald Reagan was notorious for his expert, flawless use of teleprompters as well, so maybe remember that the next time you stick your stiletto heel in your oversized, blabbering mouth. Or at least try to hide your little peeks at your palm. Idiot.

She also asked, "How's that hope-y, change-y stuff workin' out for ya?" Excuse me? Excuse me? How is using Facebook as a political platform - you know, the kind where no one can argue with you or ask you questions - working out for you, Sarah? How is not understanding that the majority of the American people don't agree with idiots like you? I mean, I didn't think it could get worse than George W. Bush on the stupidity front, but he might as well be the head of Mensa when compared to Sarah Palin. "Hope-y, change-y?" Seriously? I'm supposed to take you seriously when you talk like a 5-year old? Cute the cutesy bullshit, Sarah; I know that's your schtick with that miserable little accent you've cultivated and that you like people to believe you're as wholesome as baked Alaskan salmon, but people are hip to your game. We know you're a vindictive, backstabbing, vile creature who uses her children in order to keep her name in the news. You should be ashamed of yourself, not just because you're mocking the average folks you claim to be speaking for (most of whom voted for that guy who now lives in the White House - the one who actually is a genius) but because you have used your children to make you look sympathetic and "real." The whole blow-up over Rahm Emanuel using the word "retard" last week is just the latest in a long line of examples. Do I agree with Emanuel using the word in a derogatory manner? Of course not. But it was in a private conversation that didn't involve Sarah Palin in any way, shape or form. Should he be fired for using the word "retard?" Of course he shouldn't be fired. That's ridiculous and that just proves how little Sarah Palin understands about the way the world works. Rahm Emanuel's a dick, to be sure, and has many, many shortcomings, but he is brilliant at what he does and the fact that he's so vicious and slithers around so slickly behind the scenes is what justifies having a man like him serve as the POTUS chief-of-staff. Which begs the question, if Rahm Emanuel should be fired for using the word "retard" in a private conversation, shouldn't Rush Limbaugh be fired for saying it LIVE on the RADIO? Apparently not. Sarah loves Rush and his big, fat, slimy mouth and said it was "satire" when he said the word. Satire, huh? Rush Limbaugh doesn't understand the meaning of the word "satire." Everything Rush Limbaugh says is laced with vitriol for the human race. He has no concern for anyone but himself, and that should be obvious. The same goes for Sarah Palin, in fact. She throws everyone under the bus - including her mentally disabled INFANT son - in order to get ahead.

She continued to mock our president, saying that he was "misguided." I mean, I can't believe I just typed that. SARAH PALIN thinks BARACK OBAMA is misguided. Do I even need to elaborate on how I feel about that? I don't agree with a lot of what Barack Obama has done, but to say he's misguided is a serious accusation. The man has spent a year cleaning up the mess of the man who was president before him, and it's going to take longer to finish the job. Should everything be blamed on George W. Bush? No, but I think it's fair to say that a whole pile of shit can be blamed on George W. Bush. Sarah Palin calling anyone "misguided" is ludicrous. Which plays really well into my next point: THE WOMAN THINKS WE SHOULD DECLARE WAR ON IRAN!!! IRAN!!! Are you kidding me with this shit? A comedian couldn't make this shit up! What the fuck are you thinking, Sarah Palin? Declare war on Iran? Because we're not already embroiled in war in Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan (don't be fooled - we are at war in Pakistan), let's add another Mid-East superpower to the list. Does she not understand what she just said? Declaring war - WAR, not just dropping bombs, but full-blown WAR - on Iran would be a death wish, not because they could nuke us (which is also incredibly unlikely) but because they're nothing like Afghanistan or Iraq. There's political turmoil, sure, but it's nothing like the countries we're already occupying. This is obscene and it's an incredibly careless thing to say. She is clearly just talking right out of her ass with no thought to the consequences of her words, and that is beyond dangerous. This is why people like her cannot be allowed to have any power in this country: they would send us to ruin. You think things suck for our economy now? Well. Just wait until Sarah Palin declares war on Iran and see how quickly you try to snag a passport and move your ass to another country. Ya damn Socialist.

Oh, and then she said that "[w]e need a commander in chief" not a professor of law. What a bitch, man. Sarah Palin, what we need is a professor of law, a man who actually understands our Constitution and what a heavy weight it is to lead a country like ours with some semblance of dignity and respect for what the Constitution means. What we don't need is a beauty queen-cum-sportscaster with a degree in communications telling us that we should go to war with Iran. Who would you rather have as your president? A man who attended Harvard Law School and Columbia University and taught Constitutional Law or a woman who attended Hawaii Pacific University (until she left because there were too many Asians - NOT KIDDIING!), North Idaho College, Matanuska-Susitna College and the University of Idaho, became a sportscaster and spent half a term as governor of Alaska, before she QUIT (VOLUNTARILY!) to make money off of her poorly ghostwritten book? I know who I'd choose every time. And it ain't the Wicked Witch of the North.

I hope Sarah Palin runs for president in 2012. Really, I do. Because, if she even gets the nomination (doubtful - the Republicans aren't exactly her biggest fans anymore either) she will be torn to shreds in the debates with President Obama. He will tear her assholes in places you didn't even know you could have assholes. That alone is enough reason to hope she gets the nomination.

Of course, I could be wrong. But I doubt it.

P.S.: Watch the convention speech for yourself here. Thank me later.

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