Rush Limbaugh & Pat Robertson: Useless, and Reasons Why

See those two assholes up there? They are two of the most racist, useless, evil, twisted fucks to ever grace an airwave, be it radio or television.

They've had hits in the past such as, "Barack the Magic Negro", ""Pagans, Abortionists, Feminists, Gays and Lesbians Caused 9/11," featuring Jerry Falwell and "Calling for Hugo Chavez's Assassination/Eventual Enslavement of South America as a Whole. Well, now they've done it again.

Rush has decided that not only is Obama using Haiti to boost his credibility with black people, but he went even further yesterday, trying to discourage his listeners from donating to the relief efforts in Haiti, saying that Americans have already donated to relief in Haiti and that it was called the American "income tax." Huh? We'll get back to that in a minute.

On the same side of the coin, crazy old Pat Robertson, who clearly needs to be locked up in a closet in a nursing home somewhere in Siberia so no one ever has to hear his hateful, spiteful, racist, anti-everything tripe again, blaming the earthquake in Haiti on the Haitians. He claims they "made a deal with the devil." In that video, when he says the people of Haiti were "under the heel of the French," what he really means is that, you know, THEY WERE SLAVES! SLAVES, PEOPLE! So, Haiti's in desperate, abject poverty because they had a massive slave revolt. Right? I mean, clearly it's their fault that they have had more hard knocks than little orphan Annie. Give me a break, Pat Robertson.

Now for a history lesson, for both of these mental midgets. Haiti is incredibly important, and it's incredibly unique. Haiti was the first nation in Latin America to gain independence. It was also the first post-colonial black led nation in the entire world. Also, and Pat, you especially should pay attention to this one, it is the only nation in the world whose independence was gained due to a massive slave revolt. The revolution in Haiti resulted in the death of 100,000 black slaves and another 24,000 white colonists in Haiti. If you want to go even further back, Haiti has been suffering longer than any nation in the western hemisphere. Remember where Christopher Columbus, pillager, rapist and overall asshole that he was, landed? Hispaniola, which is the island that contains both Haiti and the Dominican Republic. I'd say if anyone made a deal with the devil it was the white Europeans who came to Hispaniola and set its people on a path of death and destruction. We killed the indigenous population? Well, let's go hoard black people on the coast of Africa and bring them here and make it a slave colony! Great idea, guys. And then, when anything tragic and awful happens to them, we'll pretend we had nothing to do with the founding of this tiny little island nation. Because white people do what they want.

Now as for Rush Limbaugh, he's a different can of worms. Racist and awful, yes, but his comments on this situation are a bit different, although equally horrible. So you don't want Americans to donate to Haiti relief, eh? He asked his caller in that second clip (the one from yesterday) if they wanted their name to be on a White House e-mail list, so Obama could start sending e-mails raising money for his campaign. This is because the caller said that you could go to www.whitehouse.gov (which you can and you should) and donate to the relief effort in Haiti. So his caller was humane and wanted to help. Rush is inhumane and, evidently, a giant conspiracy theorist who thinks we've already done enough for Haiti. I'd say he's partially right on that second point: we've essentially sat by while a neighboring country has devolved into what some call a "5th World" country.

So what do we do about two dicks like Limbaugh and Robertson? Sadly, there's nothing we can do. They have more money and power than that God guy they believe in than most of us ever will, so they can pretty much rule the airwaves as they please. But we can shame them and humiliate them and embarrass them, which is what wretched, evil men like this deserve. It never fails to amaze and anger me that two vile pieces of fecal matter like Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson are allowed to exist while thousands die in a place like Haiti, or in New Orleans, or in China, or in Sri Lanka, or in India, or in Thailand, or in the Maldives, or in Iraq, or in Ethiopia, or in Zimbabwe, or anywhere else in the world. Compassion is the only thing that should exist for people who are harmed by circumstances that they cannot control. Disgust is the only thing that should exist for people like Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson, and anyone else of their ilk who just sit by and let them spout their vile "thoughts."

Now, how can people help? Well, here are five organizations that need as much help as they can get, though there are many, many more. Go here to see a very comprehensive list of organizations that could use your help.

Partners in Health: An organization that is primarily run by Haitians themselves. Their buildings have actually come out of this fairly unscathed and they are helping people with what they have, but they are clearly going to need more to continue their work.

Operation USA: They're appealing for donations of all sizes and also for donations of water purification supplies.

Doctors Without Borders: Obviously important for obvious reasons, and taking whatever you are willing to give.

Direct Relief International: They're committing 1 million dollars in aid response and are coordinating with their partners in Haiti to get help to where it needs to be, especially for the injured. You can also donate.

Orphans International America: They are gathering food, water, whatever they can and they can use whatever help you can offer.

Or, if this seems too complicated, just text "HAITI" to 90999 and that will donate $10 to the American Red Cross. It's that simple.

Prove you're better than the Rushes and Pats in the world and give to any of these organizations or any of the many, many others that are on The Huffington Post link I posted above.

Sarah Palin: Idiot Auteur. Part 2 in a (Likely) Multi-Part Series

Oh, Sarah. Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. You never fail to please me/astonish me/dumbfound me. Do you even know how to read? I know you don't know how to write, since you had that gay bashing loon write your book for you, but can you read a book? Could you maybe hire someone to read a book to you? Maybe one on American history?

Who here can name our Founding Fathers? Well, there's John Adams, for one. He was pretty important. Benjamin Franklin. Duh. Really important. Thomas Jefferson, clearly. Alexander Hamilton and James Madison also come to mind. And the Founding Fathers of our country aren't just the (rather large) group of men who signed the Declaration of Independence. They consist of all of the prominent figures who helped lead our country through our Revolution, like Thomas Paine, a brilliant man who is still cited as an influence in any number of protests in our country. Sadly, the Teabaggers seem to have co-opted for the time being, but they're stupid, so give them time and they'll pick someone else who would never agree with their ridiculous ideals. And yes, George Washington is a Founding Father. He's called The Father of our Country for a reason. He was our first president and he was a respected figurehead in his time. But he wasn't a real leader, not in the way men like John Adams and Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson were. These are the men that did the wheeling and dealing that helped to fund our Revolution, the men with the big ideas if you will. So the fact that Sarah Palin would pick perhaps the weakest of these men (as far as overall ideology and actual desire to lead the country as president) as her favorite Founding Father, the one she respects THE MOST out of every single one of them (and there are a lot, to be sure) pretty much makes me smack my forehead. George Washington, eh? Diversity, huh? Diversity? Are you even aware of the period in history about which you are blabbering on about? You do understand that we had scores of slaves in this country, right? Hell, the majority of the Founding Fathers had slaves. Diversity? That's fantastic. Because, you know, ALL of our Founding Fathers were white dudes. I don't know if you've seen the many, many paintings that depict the signing of the Declaration of Independence or the hundreds of portraits (easily found) of these men, but that's not artistic license you're seeing there. They're white. White. Like you. That's not diverse. White, typically Protestant men. That's so diverse, it makes me sick. It's astonishing, really. I've never seen anything so diverse as America in the 1770s.

I'm sure you've seen this clip if you've watched the news since last night. Admittedly, I've been more enthralled in the horrific stories coming out of Haiti, as have most people, and rightfully so, but when I caught this little morsel of hilarity, I had to talk about it. I do have things to say about Haiti, too, though, and I will be getting to those in a separate post.

Back to Ma Palin and my original question: has she ever read a history book? Chris Matthews made a really good point about her a little bit ago (catch him around 7:45 PM during his repeat to see a segment about this topic) where he said that she's basically like the kid in school who hasn't read the book and they have to take an essay test explaining what happens in it. So they just ramble and ramble and ramble. I've been there. We all have. That's fine. But don't go on television and do the same thing. This touches on what I said yesterday: you're on TV talking about politics and our world and you're claiming there's a reason I should take you seriously. But you know NOTHING. NOTHING. YOU ARE A MORON, SARAH PALIN. PLEASE...SHUT THE HELL UP! Do you think typing in caps will help? Will she hear my plea, and the plea of millions of other people who are sick of her and her ilk (re: Glenn Beck, whose show she was on, by the by)? Doubtful. It's like she goes through life with cotton balls jammed in her ears.

Which is probably what I should do when I see her face pop up on my television. But it's like a giant, horrific car wreck with body parts splayed across the highway: I have to look. I just have to.

Lighter Fare: My 10 Favorite Albums of 2009

I plan on doing posts about Sarah Palin and her ridiculous appearance on "Glenn Beck" last night and about Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson's blatantly racist comments about Haiti later today, but I wanted to do something lighter for now. So, I'm doing my top 10 albums of the last year. I'm a bit behind, but it took me a hot minute to get this thing started up properly. So blow me. I'll do a top 10 list when I damn well please. It's not like 2009 is going anywhere.

Ready?

10. Mandy Moore, Amanda Leigh

No, I'm not kidding. This is a surprisingly great album. She's come a long way from singing that awful "Candy" song. I started giving her a chance with her cover album from a few years ago, which wasn't exactly horrible. She had a couple of really inspired song choices, especially her cover of Joan Armatrading's "Drop the Pilot." But, I'm a sucker for all things Joan Armatrading, so there you go. But this new album is mature and folksy in a way that's a little hard to take coming from a former bubblegum pop princess. But it's great. She did a duet with Ben Lee back in 2007 called "Birds and Bees" which indicated a move in this musical direction, so I'm glad she followed up on it. Plus, her album is much better than her husband's effort this past year. (Her husband is Ryan Adams if you're not up on your celeb marriages. OMGZZZ!!!) You have to have an open mind to listen to this album, admittedly, because it is still Mandy Moore. Download "Merrimack River" and "I Could Break Your Heart Any Day of the Week" to get an idea of what it sounds like.

9. Cass McCombs, Catacombs


Cass McCombs is a good dude. He's consistent, too. And this is a really, really good album. It's light and quirky. A good summertime record, in other words. He's been crafting this really laid back sound for a while now and I think it's his best. The first song, "Dreams Come True Girl," features Karen Black. You know, Karen Black, from Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark? Yeah, no shit. It's interesting. I have no idea how they're connected, but it works, so who cares. Download that and "Don't Vote" to get a feel. They're similar in sound, but very different songs.

8. Levon Helm, Electric Dirt

Levon Helm is amazing. That's all there is to it. His voice is so distinct. I dare you to find me someone, anyone, especially from Appalachia, who can listen to Levon Helm and not like him. His music suits our region perfectly. Growing up in a state like West Virginia, one hopes that you would have great taste in bluegrass, REAL country music, et cetera, but it's not always the case. And if you think you don't like those things in your music, listen to Levon Helm. He'll make you feel good. All that said, I like Electric Dirt a little less than his first album, Dirt Farmer, but that album was bare bones and raw and sad and emotional. This new album is fun and is basically an album version of the shows he does on his property every Friday night. Download "Tennessee Jed" and "I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel to Be Free" to get an idea. Embrace Levon!

7. Maxwell, BLACKsummers'night

Maxwell is one of the sexiest men to ever sing a song. He's just...well, he's it. He's been gone for too long. This is his first album in eight years. I loved Maxwell when I was in high school and college. He awakened feelings in me that I didn't even know existed, all with that sexy little (big?) voice of his. But, he wasn't just a sexy soul singer, he was emotional and interesting. He covered Kate Bush's "This Woman's Work" about ten years ago and that is still, to this day, one of my favorite songs of all time, thanks to him. He's a beautiful creature. It was a given that this would be somewhere on any top ten album list thing I would compose, it was just a matter of where I would put it. BLACKsummers'night is a new Maxwell, but it echoes his older stuff at the same time. He's grown a lot. He cut off all of that amazing hair, too. Damn. But he's still fine as hell. Download "Bad Habits" and "Pretty Wings." And go enjoy some baby-making music.

6. Paolo Nutini, Sunny Side Up

Jesus. Speaking of sexy men. Paolo Nutini is a whole new breed. He has one of the most unique voices I've ever heard, I'm guessing due to his Italian-Irish background. I know, right? Sexy. If you don't know who Paolo is, you at least know his "big" song, "New Shoes." It was used in that shoe commercial from a few years ago. YouTube it, you'll see which one I mean. Adidas maybe? Either way, while I found that song horribly obnoxious, we saw Paolo on a British talk show a few months ago and he sang a new song, "Coming Up Easy," and Billy and I both had to pick our jaws up off of the floor. Incredible. And so it began. Sunny Side Up is a jazzy, rocky, poppy, folksy, soully album that just makes you feel good. It's peppy. And his voice has so much structure and pain and joy and character that you can't help but to at least be interested in what he's saying. Download "Coming Up Easy" and "No Other Way" to get a good feel. Those are the two jazziest songs, I think, and they showcase his voice the best.

5. fun., Aim and Ignite

The Format was (is, in fact) one of my favorite bands of all time. Like, top three or four. They were catchy and poppy but intellectual and Nate Ruess has one of the best voices in music, period. And then they broke up. Of course. That's how it always goes. But, then Nate Ruess formed fun. with Andrew Dost of Anathallo and Jack Antonoff from Steel Train. And now, we have this amazing little record, which is, for all intents and purposes, what the third Format album would have been. Fortunately, Nate got the rights to the music while the other Format members got the rights to the merchandising stuff, et cetera. This is a fun album. That's pretty much all there is to it. There's these insane chord changes and the lead song, "Be Calm," sounds like four songs combined to make one big, epic, fantastic joyride. Nate's a great leader. And this is just so much goodness to take in. Download "Be Calm" and "Benson Hedges." So good.

4. Elvis Perkins, Elvis Perkins in Dearland

This is the son of Anthony Perkins, of Psycho fame. You know, Norman Bates. No shit. He's one of the best discoveries of the last decade. I thank Billy for turning me on to him. This has to be one of the best albums I've ever heard, period. His voice is lazy, but emotional and strained, like he's actually having trouble getting some of the words out. The opening song (and my personal favorite), "Shampoo," riffs off of the lyrics to Nina Simone's "Black Is the Color of My True Love's Hair" (also one of my favorite songs) but laid over a methodical, driving beat with lots of harmonica. The best thing about the album is its flow, and the fact that, while the lyrics are obviously personal, it's not quite as heavy as his first album, Ash Wednesday. Download "Shampoo" and "I Heard Your Voice in Dresden," which is evidently about his mother and has some terrific, quirky lyrics. Fall in love with Elvis Perkins, seriously.

3. Devendra Banhart, What Will We Be

Devendra Banhart has become one of my favorite singers ever over the last 5 years or so. While this album is small time compared to what I think is his best, Cripple Crow, it's also probably his most casual album. There's a bit of a disconnect between the songs, and sometimes even within the songs ("Angelika") but it suits his style so you don't really think about it. He still has the same wavering, drifting, sometimes sexy and soulful voice he's always had, and the lyrics are still quirky and sometimes hard to grasp, but the music is more accessible. It's easier to move your hips to but he also keeps in touch with his Latin roots (though that influence isn't as heavy as it has been in his other albums) while using some sassy, driving guitar and drums right out of the filthy rock music of the 1970s. Which is my favorite kind of rock music. Download "16th & Valencia Roxy Music" and "Chin Chin & Muck Muck."

2. Neko Case, Middle Cyclone

Isn't that one of the greatest album covers you've ever seen? Neko Case has come a very long way, from her time with The New Pornographers (which was where I first heard of her) to her time with Her Boyfriends (the name of her old backing band), she's taken a lot of interesting roads. However, she's always maintained this country aesthetic, if not with the actual music on her albums, at least with her voice. She has a voice that tells the truth, or at least it makes you think it's telling the truth. She's an honest singer, a singer who lets it all hang out but doesn't take any shit from anyone. You listen to a song like "This Tornado Loves You" and tell me who else could sing that convincingly? It's a tragic love song from the perspective of, well, a tornado. Not really, obviously, it's metaphoric, but it's sung as though she is the tornado and the graphic imagery of a tornado's destruction is laced throughout the song. It's beautiful and this is up there with the best albums of the decade, let alone 2009. Download "This Tornado Loves You" and "People Got a Lotta Nerve." She's a better maneater than Nelly Furtado or Hall & Oates could ever dream of being!

1. The Avett Brothers, I and Love and You

This is not just my favorite album of 2009, but it's one of the best albums I've ever heard in my entire life. And that's a lot of albums. The Avett Brothers have been around for about a decade now, but this is their big, major label debut. They got Rick Rubin (Dixie Chicks, Jay-Z, Red Hot Chili Peppers) to produce this album and he has maintained the quality he gives to everyone he works with. He never exerts influence, but he plays up the great qualities already inherent in the musicians. With the Avett Brothers, it's their relationship with one another, as brothers, and the love they share as family. It's a theme they've visited consistently on every album they've made, but the theme of family, both blood family and married family, is heavy here, especially on songs like "I and Love and You" and "January Wedding." They also visit the theme of friendship and growth and what it means to grow up and leave some friendships behind, especially on "The Perfect Space," which is one of the greatest studies of friendship and what it means to outgrow a friendship I've ever heard. It also features one of the best lyrics on the entire record toward the end, when Seth Avett proclaims, "I wanna have pride like my mother has, and not like the kind in the Bible that turns you bad." I mean, come on. Listen to him sing that line and tell me you don't choke up a bit. Then there's "Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise," which I have proclaimed to be the greatest song I've ever heard. I'm not kidding. It's big, but not Celine Dion big. It features terrific lyrics and big vocals. They also go upbeat with songs like "Kick Drum Heart," which is jangly in a very Beatles-ish way. The themes are varied but the boys bring it all together and the album flows so well from song to song and theme to theme, that it's easy to forgive them for changing their sound, which seems to be the primary criticism from their long time fans. Sure, there's less banjo, but their voices and their personalities are at the forefront and that's what really makes these guys shine. Download "Laundry Room" and "The Perfect Space" for an idea, but just go ahead and get the whole thing after that, because there's no reason for anyone to not have this album. It's that good.

Of course, these are only opinions. But I have good taste, right?

Oh! And real quick, I want to give my friends Jess and Michelle credit where it is due for coming up with the name and subtitle for this blog. I put it to a vote and they had the best suggestions, by far. Thanks guys!

Sarah Palin Is A Big Fat Idiot And Other Truths

This is going to be harsh, but hear me out.

I should be up front and say that, yes, Sarah Palin intrigues me. I'm a little obsessed with her. But I don't like her. At all. I think she's morally and ethically reprehensible and she's foolish to boot. But, yes, I am pretty obsessed with her. She fires me up, and I suppose I should thank her for that.

Sarah Palin began her run as a Fox News commentator last evening. Now I admit that I can't stomach more than about five minutes of Fox a day; I get most of my Fox News information from the internet and MSNBC. Is it obvious that I'm very biased here? Because I am. I admit that. I want that completely out on the table. I'm a big time left-wing liberal loon, for life. There. That's my disclaimer for everything I will say in this post and any later posts. But I digress. Sarah Palin began her run as a Fox News commentator last evening. She was on "The O'Reilly Factor." I know! I figured she would have started out on "Glenn Beck," too! But she went with Bill, who proceeded to interview her, mainly (from what I've gathered) about this new book, Game Change. Now, this book makes some insane claims about various political figures from the 2008 election. It's not a Republican Bashfest. These guys go after Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Harry Reid, John Edwards, Elizabeth Edwards, John McCain, Sarah Palin, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. It's pretty explosive and it's been the basis for a lot of stories in the news this week, mainly about Harry Reid and Bill Clinton. But I'm under the impression that the John McCain/Sarah Palin bits might be the best. You know why? Because they pretty much confirm what everyone has known all along:

Sarah Palin is a big fat idiot.

Obviously.

And I quote: "I think that these are the political establishment reporters who love to gin up controversy and spin up gossip. The rest of America doesn't care about that kind of crap." She said this in response to a report on "60 Minutes" that she didn't understand the true nature of her son's mission in Iraq (he was deployed on September 11th, 2008).

Sarah Palin is one of the biggest perpetrators of "that kind of crap." She is, in fact, one of the biggest spinners of gossip and ginners of controversy in the public eye today. She plays herself all cute and coy and acts like she really cares about the regular guy in Smalltown, U.S.A. when she really only cares about the bottom dollar: herself.

In Sarah Palin's abnormal little brain, she can do no wrong. She is a victim of the establishment, guys! Actually, she's just a victim of the truth. She also made the claim that her opponents don't like her "common sense, conservative solutions." Well, to begin with, I don't think she's offered any solutions to anything. Just bullshit rhetoric that has no real, honest impact on the political dialogue in our country. It has a controversial impact, sure, but what does she really offer? And, I'm sorry, common sense? Common sense, you say? That's exactly what I think of when I think of Sarah Palin. Common sense. If, by common sense, you mean the most roundabout, made up, idiotic, foolish crap that can possibly spew forth from her vile, vile lips, then yes, she does have common sense.

Evidently Sarah Palin didn't know why there was a need for a North Korea and a South Korea. She didn't understand the ties between World War I and World War II. She didn't know what the Fed, you know, does. She thought that Saddam Hussein had ties to 9/11. I'm sure there are more. And this is all on top of the things we already knew about her, such as her thoughts on relations with Russia and her horrible attempts at connecting Barack Obama to "domestic terrorist" Bill Ayers. This bitch is shameless. I'm just saying.

I guess what I'm getting at is this: why is this woman a commentator on a major news network? I mean, I get it, it's Fox and they are the bastion for right wing nutbags (teabags?). They horde Republicans of all stripes, I understand that. But, generally, corrupt and sadistic though many of them are, their commentators are usually fairly intelligent. I mean, say what you will about Karl Rove (and I've said a lot of nasty, spiteful things about ol' Turdblossom) but there's no denying that he is a brilliant man. He just uses his brilliance for the purposes of evil. But Sarah Palin, as I stated above, is a big fat idiot. The biggest. The woman knows as much as my niece does about foreign policy. My niece is 9 months old, by the way, so she doesn't really know a lot about foreign policy.

I understand the appeal of Sarah Palin. She speaks to a certain subgroup of people. She makes them feel like they're understood, like they're being heard. But she's a moron. The reason these people feel like she's their gal is because they are also, very likely, morons. I know that's an inflammatory thing to say, but if you empathize with and agree with and feel a camaraderie with someone like Sarah Palin, I'm sorry, you, too, are an idiot. There's just no other way of slicing it. It infuriates me that someone with so few thoughts in her head has made her way to the top of the political heap. Thanks, John McCain. Thank you for making a giant fool of yourself by choosing as your running mate a woman you didn't even know and that was never properly vetted. If you had won the election in 2008, this loon from Alaska would have been a heartbeat away from the presidency. And she thinks that Saddam Hussein had ties to 9/11. That's reassuring, isn't it? Doesn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside knowing that we could be even deeper in Iraq than we already are? I know it makes me tear up.

I have to say, any time I start to talk about Sarah Palin (and I'm sure this won't be the last time I do), I just get flustered. I get angry and flushed and I lose my words. Now, I consider myself pretty smart. I'm no genius, but I'm well-informed and well-read and I tend to know my shit. If I don't know said shit, I go and look up information about that shit and I educate myself. See? That's how easy it is to know things. My point is, I'm not brilliant. I don't expect everyone to be brilliant. But if you're going to lead this country (potentially), you should be a fucking genius. You need to understand foreign policy and economics and the relationships the United States has with other countries. If you're going to be a member of Congress, you should know your shit. If you're going to be the governor of one of the 50 states in the United States? Yep, you should know your shit. If you're going to be going on a national news network and give your advice and opinion on the topics of the day? You should know your shit.

Sarah Palin? She doesn't know her shit or anyone else's.

What Does One Blog About When One Decides That One Must Blog?

Well.

This has been a trying experience. I should say that first.

So I've been thinking about what I'd like to blog about since around Christmas Eve. Wait, that's not really one hundred percent absolutely completely true. I mean, I've been thinking about writing a blog for years. I just never have the patience to, you know, carry through with things that I decide to do. I'm not a real "follow-up" type of person. I have goals and good ideas and then...well, *poof* - they go away and recess themselves somewhere deep in the wrinkles of my brain, to be remembered while I lie in bed at night, chattering to myself (in my head) that I should really write these things down. My life is so confusing sometimes. And hard. Very hard.

Where was I? Blogging. So I've been thinking about what I want to write about in my blog. I even polled people on Facebook! See, smart! Using social networking sites for actual networking purposes. Who knew they weren't just for Farmville and Mafia Wars and whatever other ridiculous, embarrassing childish bullshit adults can come up with to pass their time. I got some responses that were actually insightful, too. Mainly from Kendal and Tricia. Ashley said I should buy Julia Child's cookbook and pull a Julie Powell. While I really enjoyed Julie & Julia, I don't think anyone wants to read about my cooking exploits. Though, to be honest, I was going to do a cooking blog and then thought better of it. How many of those do we need, really? Allison said she blogs about weight loss and while I can see the benefit of that, I really have no thoughts on weight loss tips or goals myself. I mean, I'd like to lose a few pounds but, again, that whole ambition thing comes into play. I'd rather sit in my basement and smoke a cigarette while looking at our treadmill than actually get off my ass and attempt to run on it. Besides, where else would I hang the laundry when I take it out of the dryer? So, no weight loss tips here. I say eat a lot of butter and see what happens.

So Tricia and Kendal, this blog's for you! Yes! You've inspired me! I decided my blog would be a mix of my sardonic, biting wit as I look at the world around me (when I actually leave my house) and my take on the various things that just chap my ass. (Sidebar: my best friend told me this past weekend that she hates it when people say the phrase "chap my ass." Chap my ass, chap my ass, chap my ass. Assless chaps. That's for you, Vegas!) I know; there are blogs out there that already do what I want to do and probably do it much better than I will. But I really need to feel like I'm using my English degree and I don't have the patience to write a novel nor do I have the ambition (there we go again) so, this is what I've come to. Slumming it in the blogs.

It's a good thing I'm not snobby.